After going on three really good first dates last week I came to an important conclusion: When I date men who are handsome, charming, wealthy, well-mannered and intelligent I AM HAPPY.
After not being asked out on a second date by any of them . . . . I AM MORTIFIED.
Clearly I’m getting in the door and then led gently down the hall, through the house, and right on out the back. (I have to scamper pretty quickly so the screen door doesn’t hit my ass on the way out.) It’s time to accept that I need to bring more to the table if I’m going to be given a seat and a fork.
LIST (ALBEIT, RATHER SHORT) OF WHAT I HAVE GOING FOR ME
1. Long blonde hair
2. Great legs
3. Perfect teeth
4. A PhD
5. Occasionally bat-shit crazy (in a good way)
6. Bennett (my super-cute mutt)
LIST OF WHAT I REALLY WANT IN A MAN
1. Pretty much the whole package—although I am not too big of a stickler about hair just so long as it doesn’t look like Donald Trump’s.